Thankfully Pink: Part III

“Flo-ing” with Acknowledgment

I believe that one of the most magical moments in our individual human existence is when we are really SEEN by another person. I’m not talking “oh, look at her…” or “did you see him?” I’m talking about the core inner self that gets acknowledged by a sister, partner, colleague, spouse, parent, child, cousin, aunt, peer, teacher, mentor, or friend, etc. I’m talking about the deep stuff. The skin-blushing, forehead-and-upper-cheek sweat-inducing kind of comment that makes us wiggle, squirm, and feel like we should respond by explaining it all away as if we’re not really worthy of the assertion. I’m talking about the kind of comment that you know, in your bones, may be true but is still awkwardly foreign and decidedly weird to hear voiced aloud by another human being.

Here’s another way to think about what it feels like when you are genuinely acknowledged by another person—the way I choose to think of it:

Like you’re a creamy cup of steaming hot cocoa (with 12 mini-marshmallows) just after shoveling out from a winter storm.

You feel special. You feel renewed. You feel cozy and warm. Comforted. Rich. Sweet. Mellow. You feel like there’s nothing better in the world than this moment, this space in time. You feel secure, at ease, and peaceful. You feel your soul awakened and soothed at the same time. You feel celebratory. You feel safe. You feel like you can curl up before the fire and exhale.

This past week, I’ve been feeling like the world was beating me over the upper back and neck with an empty paper-towel holder as I held my hands above my head and begged it to stop. At one point, driving down Interstate 90/94 on my way home from work on Monday night, resigned to the beating, I peered up through the top portion of the windshield of my car and actually said quietly to myself “Really, universe? Is that the best you can do? Go ahead…hit me some more…only use something heavy this time…REALLY.”

And then, two days later, FLO appeared.

Flo. She is a real person, not a fictitious person made up for the purposes of this blog. Flo is a woman I consider to be a friend, mentor, and luscious lover-of-life. I don’t know how old Flo is, but I remember her telling me once that she started as a business entrepreneur back when I was in diapers. She reminds me of my grandmother in a lot of ways. Strong. Solid. Salt of the earth. And, just like my grandmother, I get the impression that Flo is the kind of woman that never “runs out of room” at her house if there’s another mouth to feed, be it friend or foe. When you meet her, she always greets you with a sincerity that is as authentic as a 12-year-old bandaged cheddar round. She looks you straight in the eye when she speaks with you. She touches your arm lightly as she listens to you. And when she talks, she doesn’t mince words. She tells it like she sees it, like it is, and like she believes it oughta be…all with a sense of old-fashioned style, quintessential grace, and back-porch humility that puts you at ease, yet makes you feel like you need to pay attention.  It’s an odd and “old school” mixture of sense and sensibility, I guess.  And I am strongly attracted to it because I know, deep down in my gut, she’s speaking some kind of gospel and I’m meant to pay attention.

I met up with Flo yesterday at a luncheon here in Madison. I haven’t seen or talked to her in several months. As I was busy in my own little world (gathering my promotional flyers for my upcoming group coaching programs so I could do a little shameless self promotion before we all sat down to eat), Flo approached me. In perfect “Flo” style, I got a smile to melt your heart and make you feel like you’re the only one in the room, then a motherly bear hug that lasted long enough to make me realize it was extra-special, and, finally, an embrace by a set of hands as strong as granite and as tight as a vice grip fixed upon my outer biceps.

In her slow, rhythmic, somewhat nasal and low, semi-smoky, sweet voice she said:

“ I want to tell you…how happy I am…to see your success…I’ve been watching you…and I want you to know that I am so pleased and excited for you.”

“Ohhhh…thank you,” I said, a bit awestruck. (And then, in a flash of an instant, I thought to myself: this woman has been sent to me by one of my guardian angels). I had just come off of a string of days that, in the book that is my life, are some of the darker and spookier ones. I was starting to doubt my abilities as a business owner, as a coach, and as a strong and passionate woman. I was starting to think I’d made a wrong turn. I was starting to lose energy and passion. I was starting to fold physically and emotionally. And when my mind starts to go into that saboteur land of doubt and resistance, the rest is, well, as they say—history.

Before I could think, I responded to Flo:

“Thank you SO MUCH for saying that. I’ve been having a week that makes me wonder why I’m doing the whole ‘starting my own coaching biz thing’…if I’m cut out for it…just last night I was on the phone with my mom and crying about the fact that I was broke and wondering if I should do this or just get a J.O.B.” I said.

“Oh no, no, no,” Flo declared with edginess. She looked me straight in the eye, shifted her neck forward, cocked her right eyebrow, raised her right index finger, and with precision, clarity, and force stated “There is nothing better than working for yourself…you are doing this…and you are already successful…and you will be absolutely GREAT. Keep at it…really…I mean it. You have talent. You keep going.”

Flo acknowledged me. Deeply and sincerely, with heart and conviction.  And the impact it made on me was worth a bushel of fresh beans in the dead of winter. I am renewed. I am reminded that I am special, that I have a message and a gift to share with the world. That I can’t stop because I’m having an off day (or three). That it’s not easy but it’s worthwhile. That I can’t give up.

Imagine what humanity and the state of our world would be like if we all had FLO…?

Thank you, Flo. I feel special. I feel renewed. I feel cozy and warm. Comforted. Rich. Sweet. Mellow. I feel like there’s nothing better in the world than this moment, this space in time. I feel secure, at ease, and peaceful. I feel my soul awakened and soothed at the same time. I feel celebratory. I feel safe. I feel like I can curl up before the fire…and exhale. It’s all gonna be okay.

Creamy, hot cocoa with marshmallows just after a winter storm…