The Gift of Pink: Radical Gift Giving

The gift-giving holiday season is upon us. About this time each year, I find myself intimately acquainted with Amazon.com, betrothed to the buying of the unique and humorous, and scouring supermarkets for silly stocking stuffers (the end caps and oddity isles have some of the best alternatives to lip gloss, ink pens, or silly putty). I usually come up with a meaningful menagerie of gifts for all of my favorite folks, and I work hard to corral a gaggle of goodies for all those good little boys and girls in my life. But this year, well, this year I’m adding a twist.

In addition to my usual gift giving extravaganza (which, by the way, I’m not ashamed at all to say that I delight in), I decided to take it a bit further into the “unconventional” this year. And by “unconventional,” I’m not talking about buying and donating a goat or purchasing jewelry from a local artisan (although I do support and believe in these sorts of efforts, to be sure). I’m talking about taking a radical gift giving step. I’m going to give MYSELF a gift this year. A real present. Something that comes from a space of love and compassion for self, something that I think is a good “fit” for who I am and who I am becoming, something that honors me in the most compelling way, and something that is luxurious and “forbidden” to me currently. This is something I’ve NEVER done. I’ve done the “we’ll buy something for the house this year” gift, or the “I’m treating myself out to a nice pedicure or a massage today” gift or “I’m going to give money to the local community center in our name” gift…but I’ve really never truly given myself a meaningful, touch-the-soul kind of present that is utterly, completely, and totally FOR me and FROM me. Until now.

This year, I’m giving myself the gift of spaciousness.

To give myself the gift of spaciousness is to give myself:

1. Room to exhale.
White space in my schedule that is committed to no one and nothing except that which moves me in the moment. An afternoon nap or a walk in the park, if I feel like it. Physical exertion. Spiritual exploration. A phone call to an old friend in the middle of a workday. Taking the long way home simply because the view is prettier along that route. Giggle-fests with my four year old daughter at 6:30 am. A 30 minute excursion into the depths of my mind each day, all by myself. Guilt-free. Space to just BE. To BREATHE. And to RELEASE.

2. Daily “lovelies.”
Café lattes at 10 am. Fresh flowers because it’s Saturday. Fancy shampoo. Campari tomatoes in the dead of winter. Notching up the furnace an extra degree or two so I can wear capris in January. An extra 10 minutes snuggling under my down comforter in the morning with my best friend, not paying attention to the time or fretting over the impending “morning rush.” Simply surrendering to those creature comforts that make me feel calm, secure, loved, and alive. Surrendering to those things that I find, simply, LOVELY…and the ability to stop, take a breath, and appreciate and enjoy them for what they are and what they give me.

3. Full permission.
Allowing myself space for acceptance in all facets of my life and really owning it. To not judge every moment in my life or every movement I make. To trust that the path I am on is the one I’m supposed to tread. To grant permission to experiment. To allow myself to LET GO of any notions that I am not enough, that I have not achieved enough, that I have not proven enough. To forgive myself and to give myself full permission to believe that I am perfect and right just the way I am in this moment. To understand and internalize that my past is not my future and that each day I start anew and fresh.

I know there a lot of you out there right now thinking that this idea of “gift to self” is ego-centric and self-serving, and I encourage a closer investigation. As women, we tend to overlook and dismiss the importance of giving REAL gifts to ourselves. We routinely rationalize away our own deep-seated needs. We often ignore that part of ourselves that is starving because we believe if we feed it, we’ll somehow sacrifice the “more important” needs of our children, partners, parents, colleagues, etc. The irony of it all is that when we don’t acknowledge and give ourselves these kinds of gifts, we are actually acting a tad bit ego-centric and self-centered ourselves. When we don’t honor ourselves, we cannot show up “fully” to the game that is our life in order to fully contribute and play…and, really, is there anything more ego-centric is that?

So, to you, dear reader, I give the gift of the “go-ahead.” Do some radical gift-giving yourself this year. What gift will you give to YOU?